The hardest thing to understand in life is why no one ever told me how hard it was to make friends as a grown up?!
I have never been one to have a big friendship group, like not even in school growing up, I was that person who got on with most people and had a few close friends and we had a blast together and it was great! I’m still the best of friends with Kristie until this day at the age of 25 and we became friends when we were just 10 years old! It’s so comforting to know that I always have her to go and talk to with whatever I need to but she doesn’t live anyway near me, in fact she lives about 3 hours away and she’s also been living in a different country for the past year, which I’m so proud of tho. Don’t get me wrong I am quite happy right now, I have a big family and we are close and then I live with my boyfriend Adam and we are the best of friends too but I’ve always felt like I’m missing something.
A few years ago I was super sad about not having any close friends and I used to cry a lot and think about it all the time and it used to really get me down, don’t get me wrong it still happens every now and again nowadays. I’ve made friends through different jobs through out the years but when I’d leave that job they would never keep in touch no matter how hard I tried to organise things or we only see each other now and again, and because I never went to uni I didn’t get that social life and didn’t achieve that friendship group that a lot of people have. The city I live in now isn’t the one I grew up in either, I moved here at 16 after I left school (which wasn’t my decision) and that was the hardest age to move away from where I have grown up and I knew everybody and had friends. Sometimes I think to myself is it me? But I am so easy-going and without sounding full of myself, I usually feel liked? I’m nice and I love to have a laugh with people. Where ever I go, when I meet new people I make people giggle and we always get along, it’s just I never make proper friends with anyone? Maybe I just need to push myself more and try harder, but then there is the fear of rejection and being let down by people, sometimes being an adult sucks! Maybe others feel the same and I just don’t see it?
All I want is close friends who I can speak to on a daily basis, who like the same things as me so we can go out and do things and talk about are interests and have fun. Even if we have different interests, as long as we get along and have fun it would be lovely! I have a few friends now but it would be so nice to have a close friend who can just hang out when we want and talk a lot and I dunno, I don’t know if it’s just me or if anyone else feels like this? I WISH I WAS 15 AGAIN! Like I know we are adults now and all lead our own lives with partners or homes or jobs so it is difficult, but I see others hanging around with their closest friends and I have always wanted that.. sad really, I know. I do chat to some friends now and again and I guess I’m lucky to go hang out with my family when I want and have Adam to talk to everyday and Kristie just a phone call away, otherwise I would feel even more lost in this big wide world, and feeling alone is horrible. Saying that in the last year or so I have also learnt to enjoy my own company and enjoying having some me time, but sometimes this thought pops into my head and it doesn’t go away.
Do you find it difficult making friends as an adult?
Thank you for reading
ps. enjoy this webcam photo of me and Kristie from 2008!